What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 30.06.2025 06:46
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
All the time i was locked up.
Why You Should Stop Texting On Your iPhone Or Android Phone - Forbes
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
So, i spoilt her more .
6 foods you should be eating for stronger bones, according to nutritionists - AOL.com
I could never make a relationship work though!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
NASA KSC Workforce Transformation (Layoff) Update - NASA Watch
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
My family never makes their pension either.
Uber announces a life-changing new feature - TheStreet
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I was very sick at this time too.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
What do you think is the most powerful line in the song "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien" by Édith Piaf?
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
United Airlines Flight Attendants Lose Legal Battle Over ‘Reprehensible’ Sickness Policy - PYOK
My life is so biszare .
This is soul school!.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
What can I say to a scammer who thinks he loves me, but I don't want to be scammed?
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Trump travel ban rattles immigrant communities across U.S. - The Washington Post
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Stop Work Orders At NASA JPL - NASA Watch
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
The only rule us 5 kids had .
She was in good health!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I have no regrets .
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I was 9 years of age.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
When she asked me how she looked .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
And i lived it daily.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I had hoped to write a book about this .
It was going to be , some day.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
She wouldn,t have been !
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I don,t even have a pension.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
She married twice! .
We all went to grammer schools
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I will be 64.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I never cut or harmed myself..
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
But it wasn’t much.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I said to her
We were not on the streets..
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I waited trembling.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Who then, do I blame.?
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
He knew the spot.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Especially a lifetime of it.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Comes on , in middle age.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
She found it foreign!.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I write beautiful poetry .
I think the readers, may guess!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Put me off passion for life!!
Why did i forgive my father ?
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
But, we were locked up after school.
What did i know ?
He resisted the act ,that day.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Im still living with it.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I was seconnd youngest,
She loved him until the end.
Would this be the day?
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
So whats the point in blame.
But ive been too sick for many years..
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Ive learnt so much.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
One cannot live in the past .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I couldn’t, believe it.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
(And it was in our own minds.)
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I was scared of men, in general